10 (Bad) Reasons to be a Grinch

"But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small." Dr Seuss



There are of course, many reasons to hate Christmas (please see below, 10 Reasons to Hate Christmas), the main one being the apathy and feigned depression and hopelessness that has become so fashionable lately.  Christmas is like the ultimate competition in how completely miserable and unjoyful you can be in the face of a whole holiday devoted to eating, drinking and giving and receiving gifts with people you love.  
"I saw a reindeer outside the supermarket yesterday helping to raise money for sick children.  I felt nothing except the crushing weight of the overwhelming pointlessness of my life."
"Oh yeah?  Well, beat this, I saw Santa Claus giving out Christmas dinners to elderly people, and I didn't even smile!"

If you are reading this and gearing up for a rant on how the terrible STRESS of having to buy gifts AND make dinner with only 12 months notice and how awful it is to have to go in the attic and get down the decorations, and how next year you are totally going to go though flight booking, airports, expensive hotels and trying to find a shops selling bikinis and suncream in December to have a completely non-stressful escape from the horror of twinkly lights, please go away and book it.  No-one cares.  You are boring us.  You are ruining it for those of us capable of having a good time.

10 Reasons to Hate Christmas

1.       You are too lazy to make dinner once a year.

2.       You hate your entire family and friendship group

3.       You had a traumatic childhood experience involving glitter and/or lights and the sight of these things now triggers panic attacks.

4.       You are such a miserable git that songs of other people being joyful and happy cause you to melt into a jealous green puddle of anger.

5.       You are a turkey, or a pine tree.

6.       You detest the sight of excited children.

7.       The thought of giving something thoughtful to the people you care about and receiving something nice in return fills you with dread.

8.       You are terrified that all the charity, cheer, and goodwill to all (wo)men may cause you to accidentally show a shred of a smile or some emotion and thus destroy your super-cool nonchalant façade of unearned cynicism.

9.       Red and Green are soooooooo not your colours.

10.   You are severely allergic to reindeer, snow or tinsel.

From top: Lucy the dog, lunch in casemates, work outfits for cooler weather, Sunday dog walk, Hello Kitty inspired nails :)

Feminism is not about clothes

I have very mixed feelings about the "End Page 3" campaign, as I do about "Slut Walk".

On the one hand, I understand the logic behind both.  The End Page 3 Campaign is stating that a woman has a right not to be viewed as a sexual object, and that women clearly intended to be viewed as sex objects should not be included in a mainstream publication like the Sun, available to all ages.

“Slut Walk” proudly proclaims that women should be allowed to walk round in hardly any clothes at all, and no-one else should be allowed to comment on it.

The premise of Slut Walk is very shaky.  If a girl decides to dress as a “sexy witch” for Halloween, and none of the men she meets glance appreciatively at her, let’s not pretend this wouldn’t knock her confidence.  And, let’s not pretend that a huge proportion of girls, often identifying as feminists, DO dress in “sexy” outfits for nights out, and especially Halloween, and DO enjoy the attention that brings.

More to the point, men can’t help noticing a pretty girl in a short skirt and corset, any more than any women can claim they wouldn’t notice if a Brad Pitt lookalike walked into a bar. 

I was under the impression that one of the central concepts of feminism was giving girls CHOICES.  The End Page 3 campaign aims to take the choice to pose topless for the Sun away from girls, on the basis that they don’t know what’s good for them and they are making that choice because they are un-empowered.  Isn’t this all a bit…patriarchal?

It would be interesting to see how Lucy Anne Holmes views other types of nudity in the media.  For example, I haven’t heard that anyone views the “Calendar Girls” and the multiple copy cats of them to be anti-feminist.  Why?  Because the women are middle aged, and thus the concept of sexy is amusing and ridiculous?  Is that a feminist outlook? 

What about life models?  The concept here is not supposed to be sexy, but as a life model myself, I can safely say that most of the men who have been allowed to see the pictures have only been able to see boobs, no matter how artistic and tastefully shot or painted the pictures are.  It is sad and confusing to me that so many people cannot appreciate the human body of both genders to be simply beautiful, rather than purely sexual, but art is all about interpretation.

Frankly, I think we’re missing the point, and even accidentally attacking our own cause.  All this focus on what women wear in feminism is exactly what we DON’T want.  The concept we should ALL be pushing- from Page 3 models to dungaree lovers is that no matter what I wear or have worn, I have the right to be taken seriously when I speak.  I have the right to have the same opportunities as men.  I have the right not to be touched without my consent.

As feminists, our credibility is fatally damaged if we judge one another, and allow ourselves to be divided based on what we wear.  Let’s empower girls to have the opportunities and the strength to know that they can become a CEO, but not assume they are exploited if they decide to be a topless model instead.